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• From the Editors

• Advice Column

• From the Experts

• Dating Advice

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Tips for letting go of the past:

1. Don't carry around photos of the person you have left behind.

2. Enough is enough… don't talk about the ex any more. Your friends have heard everything they want to hear and your new date might be kind and listen but they really won't be interested either.

3. LET GO and move on. Don't try to stay friends and continue to hang out with the ex.

4. Don't try to find someone that reminds you of the ex. They are an ex for a reason and this type is not what works for you.

Advice From The Experts

How To Let Go Of The Past

Written for Elite Connections News by Janet Snow, CCHT.
Janet graduated from UCLA and is an expert in holistic health care.

LETTING GO:
The key to life is learning to let go of the past. Letting go is one of the core elements of all ancient teachings. The bible teaches us that we need to let go. Zen masters teach it. Buddhist monks teach it. But letting go of the past sounds a lot easier than it is. What does it really mean to let go? To some, letting go might feel like giving up, yet at the end of a relationship there comes a time to let go in order to heal and move on. Most people have a vision of what a good relationship looks like for them. We remember the pleasure and the sense of security we have felt. We want those feelings again and sometimes hurry out to find another person to fill the space that has become empty. Some people literally "rebound" from one relationship directly into another. It is important to take some time to be with yourself, to look at what it was that caused the last relationship to end. To do this takes the courage to ask ourselves what part we played in the breakdown of the relationship. It also requires courage to examine our belief system. One of the most powerful tools I use with my clients to find the blocks, the outdated beliefs and an opening to "reprogram" themselves is guided visualization. Here are some suggestions: Close your eyes and sit quietly. Allow yourself to relax. Visualize yourself calm and happy. Be open to whatever comes up. Keep a journal.

OPENING TO LOVE:
How do we begin opening to love? Often we become afraid to venture into another relationship, thinking we may fail to get something we want or loose something we already have. Actually, we can use fear as a stepping-stone towards better things like prudence, self-respect and worthiness. The more we feel secure within ourselves, the more we have to give to another and the better chance we have at finding a love which can endure--all of which makes us feel safer to open up.

LIVING IN THE PRESENT:
Many of us live everywhere except the present moment. We spend a lot of time worrying about the future or dwelling in the past. Take some time and look at your priorities. Focus on the things in your life that bring you joy and eliminate the stressors where possible. We get more out of life by being mindful to the present moment. Learning how to let go, how to love, and how to be in the present moment is a lifetime process. The present moment is where your joy is. This process is worth it. You are worth it.