Dating Advice

Dating anywhere in the world can get difficult and tiresome.
These Elite Connections matchmakers have been helping California singles for over fourteen years. They've worked with singles from 21-80 and have been to their clients weddings for all ages in between.

You can get online advice to your dating questions quickly by contacting them through their online dating column.

DOES SHE LOVE ME OR NOT?  
by Sherri Murphy and Keri Roberts   
 

Anyone who's been single and dating for any time at all knows that connecting is full of short-circuits. 

Take the example of a recent match-up in which a pair meets for coffee and end up in his car necking and groveling like two high school students.

It went from hot and heavy with sparks flying to stone cold and going nowhere fast.

Women don't give men enough encouragement,  says matchmaking veteran Keri Roberts, of their interest or lack thereof.  Some women feel that to be feminine they need to wait for the man to call. 

But the message we, as matchmakers, want to get across to women, says Roberts, is that men need a "green light" in order to call and not risk being rejected.  So if the woman is interested in someone she has a first date with, she needs to convey her interest--non-verbally and/or verbally--during the date so the man knows she'd love to hear from and see him again. Playing hard-to-get is a thing of the past and the wrong thing to do with men! 

The other mistake women often make is giving mixed messages.  She seems engaged, interested and even makes physical contact with him when she is not actually interested in him at all.  That's what you call a big tease, and it's a no-no for women to lead a guy on. 

It's common courtesy for a woman to call and thank a man for the date and nice time together. However, some men find it tough to tell the difference between a woman who's genuinely interested in him and one who is simply being polite..

So whether left in a voicemail or connecting by phone to say so, she should let him know--very clearly and succinctly--that she didn't feel a special connection but wishes him all the best on his quest.